- Details of the competition you wish to enter your script/completed film for and any particular requirements you must follow.
- One page example of an extract of a published script (e.g. from The Writer's Room), annotated by you to show you have a clear understanding of script conventions.
Below is 1 page of an annotated script from Casualty Season 30 Episode 1 A Child's Heart Part 1. You can find the rest of the script on here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/casualty
- Examples from existing scripts, with your evaluation of them:
- good development of character - inner presence, outer presence, context
- good use of dialogue
- good use of scene direction
Doctor Who: Series 9 - Episode 1 "The Magician's Apprentice"
LINK: http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/DW9-EP1-The-Magicians-Apprentice.pdf
Good use of character
Inner Presence
The POV from the child allows us to see the world around him from his eyes; he is running and panting; really desperate to get away from the action around him. The boy 'stumbles' to a halt showing that he is uneasy as he is terrified by the action around him. Kanzo although being a soldier who are stereotypical to being strong and tough has a very soft side when dealing with the boy as he does so in a calming manner - "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Just don't run." The way Kanzo meets with this boy in the manner that he did makes me think about whether he has any children of his own and if so where are they now?
Outer Presence
The kid is described with mud 'splattered' across his face and his eyes looking 'terrified'. In a setting such as this where there's war going on, the kid fits in with the scene. Before we see the face of the kid, we enter a first person view of the boy. Seeing in third person gives the audience a completely different perspective and coming from a child's point of view it is interesting to see what he sees. He is running - desperate, panting and terrified which matches the expression we see of his face in the next shot.
Good use of dialogue
In this scene, The Doctor is talking to a boy trying to save him from dying. It is a one on one talk between each other. The Doctor speaks quite calmly (which is quoted in the script) It is a must when speaking to a child or anyone that is scared to speak to them calmly either to not cause any more fear in them or lower their fear. The Doctor talks a bit of nonsense - ("Just a passer-by. I was looking for a bookshop. How do you think I'm doing?"). The Doctor does this quite often when in fearful situations as it confuses people and distracts them from fear which the boy has.
Good use of scene direction
In this episode of Doctor Who, the starting scene is action packed with over half the page just describing this one scene. Wars are never liked as they bring death for up to millions of people and desolate landscapes, this one is no exception so this scene brings a sad atmosphere to the audience who is watching. Notice the detail gone into this scene from the mud, craters and barbed wire to the flying Biplanes firing lasers; The writer clearly wants to convey this scene clear. For the first episode of Doctor Who in series 9 it doesn't get off to a positive start.
LINK: http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/DW9-EP1-The-Magicians-Apprentice.pdf
Good use of character
Inner Presence
The POV from the child allows us to see the world around him from his eyes; he is running and panting; really desperate to get away from the action around him. The boy 'stumbles' to a halt showing that he is uneasy as he is terrified by the action around him. Kanzo although being a soldier who are stereotypical to being strong and tough has a very soft side when dealing with the boy as he does so in a calming manner - "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Just don't run." The way Kanzo meets with this boy in the manner that he did makes me think about whether he has any children of his own and if so where are they now?
Outer Presence
The kid is described with mud 'splattered' across his face and his eyes looking 'terrified'. In a setting such as this where there's war going on, the kid fits in with the scene. Before we see the face of the kid, we enter a first person view of the boy. Seeing in third person gives the audience a completely different perspective and coming from a child's point of view it is interesting to see what he sees. He is running - desperate, panting and terrified which matches the expression we see of his face in the next shot.
Good use of dialogue
In this scene, The Doctor is talking to a boy trying to save him from dying. It is a one on one talk between each other. The Doctor speaks quite calmly (which is quoted in the script) It is a must when speaking to a child or anyone that is scared to speak to them calmly either to not cause any more fear in them or lower their fear. The Doctor talks a bit of nonsense - ("Just a passer-by. I was looking for a bookshop. How do you think I'm doing?"). The Doctor does this quite often when in fearful situations as it confuses people and distracts them from fear which the boy has.
Good use of scene direction
- Two examples of ten-minute short films which you like from a screenplay perspective together with an analysis of why.
Real Gone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50F5Lhea8Lw
I like this short film because the main character says nothing throughout this film. All we have is his facial expressions to tell what he's thinking and feeling. This character doesn't even have a name. By the end of the film, we don't have a clear understanding about him and his life, only that he wants to die after seeing a brief glimpse into the great beyond. After seeing this he tries to kill himself to get back to that place except all the methods he tries fails. At the end he gives up but it's only then when he gets hit by a vehicle unknowingly that he eventually dies at gets back to the great beyond. Suicide is a risky theme to base this on as it is a real world issue and not something to be laughed about but there is an exception in this because they have added in light humor like at 5:25-5:29 where he has a tantrum because he isn't dead. Once he is dead though he lets out a cheer at 8:17-8:18 which is an unexpected reaction because if you're dying or were about to die, it is not something that everyone would normally will be happy about.
I've learnt more about the screenplay from the behind the scenes video that they released (LINK HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f7utWakXSM).
In the behind the scenes video the screenplay by Seth Worley arranged the narrative around a clock face. In the roughly 10 minute short film most of the narrative falls into act 2 being the longest act in the film whereas act 1 and act 3 are both short and of equal length.
Penned
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d91B0uK4GK4
Similarly in this film the main character doesn't say much which is harder for us as an audience to figure out what kind of a character he is. We know that he's a young teenager in school at the time of the year where he's taking his exams. The main character is in an exam however the pen he uses to write fails, then a mysterious figure wearing a black hoodie (which hides most of his face) gives him replacement pen to write with. During the exam we learn that he likes to draw so he draws on the exam sheet the chair that he's sitting on. Except this is no ordinary pen and he soon realises that everything he draws freezes. But by the time he does realise he's frozen a chair, 2 people and his cat. He can't figure out how to fix them and feels hopeless. He tries looking for the mysterious figure who gave him the pen but to the people who he asks, no one knows who he is. One day he got on a bus and threw all the artwork that he drew outside, little did he know that would fix the problem. As the artwork landed in a puddle of water the ink came off the paper unfreezing the object or person he had frozen. Not realizing this, he sits down on a bench in a park one day and draws himself, besides him is a young girl with a black box full of artwork that has been drawn with the pen that he has. She snatches it off him and it freezes him. With nothing he can do, the mysterious black figure returns and collects the pen from his frozen hand. He then walks off in the same direction as the girl which to me both seem to be related in some way.
I really like the narrative of this one; I like the idea of how the objects/people he draws are frozen once they're etched into the paper and that as long as the ink is bound to the paper they can no longer move again. If you were to scrunch up the drawing, the object or person would get scrunched up too which can be seen between 6:43-7:00. Obviously if it were a drawing of a person he scrunched up, it would not end very well.
In some cases of wrongful convictions, the real criminal behind the attack is there to give evidence against you in court which is a worst case scenario. People can be framed very easily if they have sufficient evidence. This is why I looked at this article in that it could give me a reason for the main character to be framed by someone else until he is found out later in the narrative. I feel petty confident that this should be my narrative.
Location
Would pictures or information be appropriate here? Since most of my film is set in the woods what exactly would I search for?
I like this short film because the main character says nothing throughout this film. All we have is his facial expressions to tell what he's thinking and feeling. This character doesn't even have a name. By the end of the film, we don't have a clear understanding about him and his life, only that he wants to die after seeing a brief glimpse into the great beyond. After seeing this he tries to kill himself to get back to that place except all the methods he tries fails. At the end he gives up but it's only then when he gets hit by a vehicle unknowingly that he eventually dies at gets back to the great beyond. Suicide is a risky theme to base this on as it is a real world issue and not something to be laughed about but there is an exception in this because they have added in light humor like at 5:25-5:29 where he has a tantrum because he isn't dead. Once he is dead though he lets out a cheer at 8:17-8:18 which is an unexpected reaction because if you're dying or were about to die, it is not something that everyone would normally will be happy about.
I've learnt more about the screenplay from the behind the scenes video that they released (LINK HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f7utWakXSM).
In the behind the scenes video the screenplay by Seth Worley arranged the narrative around a clock face. In the roughly 10 minute short film most of the narrative falls into act 2 being the longest act in the film whereas act 1 and act 3 are both short and of equal length.
Penned
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d91B0uK4GK4
Similarly in this film the main character doesn't say much which is harder for us as an audience to figure out what kind of a character he is. We know that he's a young teenager in school at the time of the year where he's taking his exams. The main character is in an exam however the pen he uses to write fails, then a mysterious figure wearing a black hoodie (which hides most of his face) gives him replacement pen to write with. During the exam we learn that he likes to draw so he draws on the exam sheet the chair that he's sitting on. Except this is no ordinary pen and he soon realises that everything he draws freezes. But by the time he does realise he's frozen a chair, 2 people and his cat. He can't figure out how to fix them and feels hopeless. He tries looking for the mysterious figure who gave him the pen but to the people who he asks, no one knows who he is. One day he got on a bus and threw all the artwork that he drew outside, little did he know that would fix the problem. As the artwork landed in a puddle of water the ink came off the paper unfreezing the object or person he had frozen. Not realizing this, he sits down on a bench in a park one day and draws himself, besides him is a young girl with a black box full of artwork that has been drawn with the pen that he has. She snatches it off him and it freezes him. With nothing he can do, the mysterious black figure returns and collects the pen from his frozen hand. He then walks off in the same direction as the girl which to me both seem to be related in some way.
I really like the narrative of this one; I like the idea of how the objects/people he draws are frozen once they're etched into the paper and that as long as the ink is bound to the paper they can no longer move again. If you were to scrunch up the drawing, the object or person would get scrunched up too which can be seen between 6:43-7:00. Obviously if it were a drawing of a person he scrunched up, it would not end very well.
- Audience research - identification of the audience demographically and psychographically, with some primary research (e.g. questionnaires, interviews, focus groups) into the viability of your idea - feedback from the pitch can be the start of this, but you'll need more detailed views of members of the target audience.
This is to be done once I've done my pitch.
- Research into theme, location, character as appropriate to your script idea (as much of this as possible from as wide a variety of sources as possible, such as newspapers, books, internet, etc. all properly referenced).
Narrative/Character/Theme
(Proper referencing at bottom of page)
Source 1: http://list25.com/25-worst-cases-of-people-being-wrongly-accused/
This article is related to my narrative because my main character running from the police is completely innocent. Much like in the real world there are many people who have been wrongly convicted. The sad part is that not all of them are proven innocent. The article goes over 25 people with details of what they were wrongly convicted of with how they were found out to be innocent. I will look into this to help me figure out a way of how the main character can be proven innocent.
Source 2: http://www.innocenceproject.org/causes-wrongful-conviction
Following on from Source 1. Source 2 gives specific reasons of why someone was wrongly accused. Looking at the graph the majority of wrongful convictions are caused by Eyewitness Misidentification. Since it's the most likely reason behind wrongful convictions it might add a bit of realism to my narrative if I picked the most likely reason for why my main character was falsely accused.
Source 3: http://listverse.com/2014/11/09/10-people-who-were-framed-for-horrible-crimes/
(Proper referencing at bottom of page)
Source 1: http://list25.com/25-worst-cases-of-people-being-wrongly-accused/
This article is related to my narrative because my main character running from the police is completely innocent. Much like in the real world there are many people who have been wrongly convicted. The sad part is that not all of them are proven innocent. The article goes over 25 people with details of what they were wrongly convicted of with how they were found out to be innocent. I will look into this to help me figure out a way of how the main character can be proven innocent.
Source 2: http://www.innocenceproject.org/causes-wrongful-conviction
Following on from Source 1. Source 2 gives specific reasons of why someone was wrongly accused. Looking at the graph the majority of wrongful convictions are caused by Eyewitness Misidentification. Since it's the most likely reason behind wrongful convictions it might add a bit of realism to my narrative if I picked the most likely reason for why my main character was falsely accused.
Source 3: http://listverse.com/2014/11/09/10-people-who-were-framed-for-horrible-crimes/
In some cases of wrongful convictions, the real criminal behind the attack is there to give evidence against you in court which is a worst case scenario. People can be framed very easily if they have sufficient evidence. This is why I looked at this article in that it could give me a reason for the main character to be framed by someone else until he is found out later in the narrative. I feel petty confident that this should be my narrative.
Location
Would pictures or information be appropriate here? Since most of my film is set in the woods what exactly would I search for?
- Research into existing media texts which have similarities or are influences on you in terms of theme, location, genre, narrative or character.
I have watched four films that relate to my film;
- Bad Lieutenant (1992) (Directed by Abel Ferrara)
(SYNOPSIS: While investigating a young nun's rape, a corrupt New York City police detective, with a serious drug and gambling addiction, tries to change his ways and find forgiveness.) - Training Day (2001) (Directed by Antoine Fuqua)
(SYNOPSIS: On his first day on the job as a Los Angeles narcotics officer, a rookie cop goes on a 24-hour training course with a rogue detective who isn't what he appears.) - Copland (1997) (Directed by James Mangold)
(SYNOPSIS: The sheriff of a suburban New Jersey community populated by New York City policemen slowly discovers the town is a front for mob connections and corruption.) - The Departed (2006) (Directed by Martin Scorsese)(SYNOPSIS: An undercover cop and a mole in the police attempt to identify each other while infiltrating an Irish gang in South Boston.)
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- A bibliography, properly referenced, using the Harvard referencing system.
NOTE: Not all of the links have been referenced as I have been focusing more on other tasks.
- LIST 25. (2013) 25 Worst Cases Of People Being Wrongly Accused. [Online] Available from: http://list25.com/25-worst-cases-of-people-being-wrongly-accused/
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
- INNOCENT PROJECT. The Causes of Wrongful Conviction. [Online] Available from: http://www.innocenceproject.org/causes-wrongful-conviction/
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
- INNOCENT PROJECT. The Causes of Wrongful Conviction. [Online] Available from: http://www.innocenceproject.org/causes-wrongful-conviction/
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
- LISTVERSE. (2014) 10 People Who Were Framed For Horrible Crimes. [Online] Available from: http://listverse.com/2014/11/09/10-people-who-were-framed-for-horrible-crimes/
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
[Accessed: 28th November 2015]
You have collected and prepared good background material for a scriptwriting project competently and with only occasional assistance.
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